The First Time She Saw Him
by geniereiner1
Summary: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 9: One-shot that follows Rey's life after the events of Rise of Skywalker.


She remembered the first time she first saw him, really saw him.

It wasn't when he first removed his mask to interrogate her. It wasn't when they connected through the Force and she tried to shoot him with a blaster from across the galaxy. It wasn't when they touched hands and she saw what he could be redeemed to.

It wasn't in the instances when he held out his hand to her, pleading with his eyes, inviting her to join his mission. Together they would have been unstoppable.

She wanted to take his hand, but not his hand.

It was when she was on Exegol facing down Emperor Palpatine. Her grandfather snarled from under his hood, taunting her that if she killed him in that moment then she would fulfill her destiny and become a Sith Empress.

Her friends were above the Sith throne room, fighting tirelessly against the Final Order. The Skywalkers were dead and one with the Force. She really believed that she was the last Jedi.

Then she saw him. The Force had connected them again right when they really needed it.

He was on Exegol, too, and not far from the throne room. Lighting flashed around him as he faced the Knights of Ren empty-handed.

He was not the same man she had known before. The scar she gave him was gone from his face. All the aggression and tension had left his body. And his eyes had no trace of hatred or darkness, but instead light and a hope she had almost lost faith in.

Kylo Ren was gone, and Ben Solo had come for her.

He wouldn't last long without help. Rey averted her eyes back to Palpatine. She held up Luke's light saber higher and over her shoulder until it disappeared behind her back.

Ben caught it, and two Jedi entered the fight.

It didn't take long for Ben to take out the Knights and join her in the throne room. With Luke and Leia's light sabers, Ben and Rey faced Palpatine together. It felt right, like they were unstoppable.

But it wasn't enough.

Palpatine sucked the energy out of both of them and left them lifeless on the ground. He unleashed darkness on the Resistance fleet above. Ben rose again to defeat the Emperor, but he was thrown off the higher ground.

Rey felt the beckoning call of generations of Jedi. She got up and faced Palpatine, catching his lightning with one light saber. She threw his lightning back at him with two.

She immediately fell into a void that was lifeless, cold, and dark. Not dark like the Dark Side, but like an in-between. Her soul wandered aimlessly in a desolate desert drier than Jakku.

Then she saw a light. It was right in front her, pulsating a warm glow. She followed it until it led her back to him.

He was holding her in his arms, looking right into her eyes. Relief washed over both of them. He was relieved that she had survived. She was relieved that he was still there with her.

"Ben," Rey smiled.

The war wasn't fully over yet, but all they felt was peace. Rey put her hand on Ben's cheek, and they shared a kiss that encapsulated all the passion they had been suppressing all those years.

He flashed her a cheeky grin that was reminiscent of Han Solo himself. It was all too perfect.

But it ended too soon.

Ben's head snapped back and he fell to the floor. Rey hovered over him as she watched his body fade away in the Jedi way.

Ben Solo was gone, and Rey Skywalker's life continued on. But those fleeting moments with Ben haunted her for the rest of her days.

Rey passed on the Jedi tradition and the ways of the Force to many, like Finn and the young boy from Canto Bright. She became like a mother to the many Padawan she trained and raised, just like how Luke and Leia became like family to her.

She led a movement of peace throughout the galaxy by restoring those who were oppressed, ending disputes and civil wars, and preventing future wars.

The Jedi were nearly restored to their former glory thanks to Master Rey Skywalker.

Rey was no longer the younger woman she once was. She had reached the end of her life at her home on Tatooine. Her dark hair had turned grey and wrinkles surrounded her eyes.

She had felt weak for a while now, as if her own life Force was almost spent. Rey laid on her bed to watch the two suns set on the horizon while she reflected on the biggest mystery of her life.

She remembered the first time she first saw him, really saw him. But she never saw him after that, not once.

She saw Luke's ghost on Ahch-To before she faced Palpatine. Leia's ghost visited her to give her guidance before she led a fleet to end a civil war. Even Anakin's ghost helped her when she was struggling with persistent visions of herself being the Sith she dueled on the Death Star.

But Ben's ghost never came back to see her, though the memory of him still haunted her in every other way.

Many times when she saw her reflection in a mirror or water, she briefly saw Ben's face staring back at her before looking twice.

In the midst of her thoughts, she thought she imagined hearing Ben's voice echoing through her mind, encouraging her to keep going.

Many nights Rey cried herself to sleep as the memory of her fleeting moments with Ben Solo would play in her head over and over again. Eventually, a warmth would settle over her until it soothed her enough to sleep. But then her dreams were filled with the false reality of her life if Ben hadn't died that day.

The two suns were almost over the hill before her eyes fell shut. Rey was back in that void again. Lifeless, cold, dark, but not quite as lonely.

She didn't have to wander too far in this desert until she heard a voice she had been yearning to hear again for years.

"Rey," he said from behind her.

She turned around and saw him again.

"Ben," she smiled.

It was Ben, just as she remembered him. He had the blue aura of a Force Ghost while she did not.

Her voice had become deeper and raspier with age. "Where am I?"

"A realm in-between the physical and the Force," he told her gently. "It's where Jedi linger when a part of them is still clinging to the physical world."

"What must I do to pass through?"

"Let go of anything holding you back in the past."

Rey paused and reflected on what she needed to move on from, and she knew exactly what it was.

Tears swelled in her eyes and her voice shook as she asked, "Why didn't you ever come back to see me?"

Ben's face grew sad. He was just as disappointed as she was.

"There were times that I really, really needed you, and you never came..."

He took a deep breath. "I didn't have the chance to tell you before, but back on Exegol, I saved you by transferring my own life Force to you, just like you had shown me before."

"I figured as much," she snapped back, "And then you died."

Ben still stayed patient with Rey despite her resentment. "I did die, yes, but I never fully passed on to the Force."

"Well, where were you this whole time?"

Before Ben responded, Rey already realized the answer.

That really was Ben's reflection she kept seeing. That really was Ben's voice she heard in her thoughts. And that warmth that comforted her all those nights really was him.

"My life Force had blended together with yours. I had become a part of your mind, your soul, your heart.. I was there with you through everything, Rey."

"Yes," she whispered, "You really were."

Ben flashed Rey one of those Solo grins and held his hand to her one last time.

"Come with me, Rey. Let's go home."

Rey finally took his hand, Ben Solo's hand.

She now shared the same blue aura that he had. Ben looked up to see not an old woman, but the same young scavenger-turned-Jedi girl that brought him back to the light all those years ago.

Rey's body disappeared from her home on Tatooine.

Ben and Rey passed into the Force and experienced an eternity that was far better than any reality than she could dream of,


End file.
